In a recent less-than-sage decision, the United States Supreme Court has reminded us that corporations are to be treated as if they were each an individual person.

They are taxed like an individual and, thanks to the upper court, now they can contribute to political advertising as if they were a person: albeit, a really, really rich person.

If it is true that corporations are just like people, what are we to think of the mega corporations like Halliburton, Enron, some of the huge financing corporations, insurance companies, and of course, British Petroleum?

Shall we take the court’s decision to its next logical conclusion?

My take is that these multinational, conglomerate, diversified corporations, gleaned from a slew of smaller company/corporation/individuals, should be treated just like any other clique of like-minded people.

They do not want to be regulated by any other entity, they do not want to follow imposed conventional rules or laws, and they do not wish to be held accountable.

Therefore, the mega corporations should be treated as if they were sovereign countries.

Under the law they would be just like France or England–countries for the purpose of all international relations.

They already have logos that can easily be made into flags, charters that would become constitutions, and best yet, they have wealth and resources far beyond what many land-bound countries can claim.

If America could negotiate and work with BP as if it were a country, we would have the right to deal with BP the way we did with say…Iraq.

Unlike Iraq, BP actually has the equivalent of weapons of mass destruction.

They have the capability to commit homicide on 11 humans, destroy natural regions, kill wildlife, bankrupt small companies, and destroy thousands of individual lives with a single blowout.

While we are at it, we should throw Halliburton into this mix.

They seem to have as much culpability for the Gulf of Mexico oil disaster as any other company-country, what with their involvement and excuses and all.

How should we handle these new company-countries?

Just like any other country.

Just like Iraq and Afghanistan.

BP and Halliburton invaded our shores.

Congress has the power declare war on another country and this invasion makes the sober decision to mobilize the military a just one.

We should, without question, go to war with them.

This threat to American freedoms is much greater than many countries we have invaded throughout history.

The United States military should raid their corporate headquarters, capture the corporate kings of these countries along with their white collar courts, take them into custody as war prisoners, and corral them into hard labor camps.

Next, they should be shipped to the Gulf Coast, tethered chain-gang style, and given hand tools to clean up the mess.

Deployed troops must continue the siege by destroying country-company territory (corporate offices) so that they cannot rebuild and resume operations.

Finally, America needs to seize BP and Halliburton’s bank accounts as war booty and use the proceeds to pay for the havoc they have wreaked.

Following this new world order, military courts will try each individual component company and determine who is to survive and who is most to blame.

The felons need to remain incarcerated until a future time far down the road when no one can remember just why they were ever imprisoned in the first place.

The innocent can go on their merry way, free to re-enter the workplace on their own, smaller in size and with the caveat to remain an individual, heed regulations, and to never again take up citizenship in such a large, insensitive company-country.

I hope you have enjoyed my sally into satire.

The important issue is to remember that satire only works when there is an element of truth involved.

When corporations finally realize the awesome responsibilities and amount of care and concern they need to invest before being treated as respected entities around the world, they may open their eyes to the fact that the whole of our planet, not just the pocketbook, needs a solemn oath of commitment.