In September, my Vern treated me to 16 days on a barge exploring the Ohio and Upper Mississippi Rivers between Louisville, KY and St. Louis, MO; and the Upper Mississippi and Illinois Rivers up to Peoria, IL.

My first thought, upon hearing our travel plans was “Wow, Vern sure loves traveling with me.”

Then, I remembered that teachers and retired teachers travel half fare on the River Explorer.

Hmmm?

I’m a retired teacher; therefore, he pays half price for me.

Now, I asked myself is it the pleasure of my company Vern craves or is he taking me because I’m a cheap date?

I think I’ll be wise to just let that question go unanswered.

The better question is why do teachers and former teachers get such a price break on RiverBarge Excursion Lines?

Eddie Conrad, Founder and CEO of REL, believes that offering a 50% discount to teachers is one way to show his appreciation of them.

Also, he feels that they will appreciate the unique learning experience that they get on the River Explorer and, hopefully, they will share this knowledge with their students and family.

Conrad feels strongly about sharing; so it is natural that the key word in the company Mission statement is Share.

I’m pretty sure that he would be happy to have the word SHARE as the complete mission statement.

It was Conrad’s desire to share his love for America’s river system and the history and culture of the people who lived along those rivers that lead him to become a barge expert and eventually to his founding of RiverBarge Excursion Lines.

Let me dispel the idea that bargin’ the rivers equates to “roughing it”.

The R/B River Explorer is the only floating hotel barge traveling the rivers in the United States.

It consists of two barges, the De Soto (houses the public areas) and the La Salle (houses staterooms), a tow boat - Miss Nari, and a bow-thruster - Mr. Wally.

From stem to stern, she is 730 feet in length.

She boasts 98 state rooms, at 200 square feet each (half with balconies).

The state rooms are furnished with twin beds or a super queen, individually controlled AC/Heat, TV, VCR, mini fridge, coffee maker, phone, full-size tub with shower, hairdryer, and a pair of binoculars.

The Pursers Lobby is spaciously furnished with everything one needs for relaxing, hanging out, writing postcards, watching Roy Elmer (the resident artist) create his unique paintings, raiding the bottomless cookie jar, and even taking a nap on one of the huge comfortable sofas.

Behind the Pursers Lobby is a library/game room ideal for socializing with barge mates, borrowing books and videos, playing cards, bumper pool, board games, or working jigsaw puzzles.

Forward of the lobby is the Guest Pilot House with wrap around windows to permit unobstructed views of the fantastic scenery, multiple speakers that allow you to listen in on all radio communications among crew members and between the crew and shore personnel.

There is a state of the art radar system that provides real time data, and stacks of navigation charts that you can browse.

The Galley offers open seating for all meals; breakfast and lunch are buffet, but supper is served A La Carte with regional specials; the dining area has huge picture windows for shore to shore viewing.

It even has two refrigerators at the end of the buffet table that are strictly for passengers to raid - in case hunger strikes in the evening or middle of the night.

The Sprague Theater has a real old fashioned balcony and offers performances by local musicians - guest storytellers - Bingo - movies and documentary films.

Last, but not least, there are two bars; the Sky Deck Bar has the best chilidogs and popcorn I have eaten in a long time; The Crevasse bar, is adjacent to the theater.
Conrad and crew consider the River Explorer home.

“While you are aboard we want you to feel comfortable, relaxed and welcome - like a valued friend in our home.”

He goes on to ask, “Have you ever had a host greet you in uniform? Not likely, unless the host is very eccentric or you are attending a costume party. Our crew greets you in tee shirts and shorts or slacks. Have you ever offered a tip to your hosts in their a home? If so, I’m sure you were never invited back. No tipping is allowed on the River Explorer. When you are a guest in someone’s home and you use the last of the toilet tissue on the roll, do you call out for the host to come and replace it? No, you look under the sink, find the extra roll and replace it yourself. That’s the way we do it here. You are sharing our home and we want you to enjoy it”.

What a treat to unpack only once and have everything you need go with you to places that are off the beaten path.

Places that the interstate bypassed, where a river has defined the culture and given a region a sense of place.

Another thing I really like is the all inclusive pricing; on the barge, there's no extra charge for anything except booze and gift shop purchases.

Included in your fare are meals, soft drinks, juice, coffee, tea, snacks, scheduled shore activities, onboard entertainment, port charges, taxes and gratuities - no tipping allowed.

The atmosphere onboard is relaxed, casual, and flexible.

You make your own choices.

You can decide when, where and with whom you'd like to share your meals, whether to take an excursion onshore to meet the locals or to stay onboard and soak up the atmosphere

form the Sky Deck, and if you want to attend the evening’s entertainment in the Sprague Theater.

If not you can relax at the Sky Deck bar, or in your stateroom.

When Conrad speaks of “a family feel” aboard the barge, it is not just hype or a good PR ploy.

He is passionate about sharing America's stories of how the rivers have influenced our nation's commerce and industry, history and culture.

The charismatic Louisiana native is available on most excursions and loves to share tales of Louisiana's Cajun and Creole cultures, life in New Orleans, and his river travels.

His genuine love for what he does and for his customers is something that many have attempted to copy, but few have come close to matching.

Conrad‘s relationship with his staff is remarkable.

He hires the best, provides them the best possible training, pays them well, and treats them with respect and affection.

They, in turn, willingly give the best they have to offer to Conrad and those aboard the River Explorer.

I have never met a group of people who were as genuinely dedicated to their jobs or who care more passionately about their customers than the crew members of the River Explorer.

Strangers soon become barge-mates, and before you know it you feel you are among family.

Conrad has been heard to say, “Travelers are welcomed aboard as guests and depart as part of our RiverBarge Family.”

Well, folks, I don’t know how it happens but that is what happened with Vern and me.

In addition to Conrad, we shared our excursion with some outstanding crew members who made the excursion memorable.

Edward Clark was looking for something different to do after he retired from his job as a law enforcement fire arms instructor, so in 1998 he took a job with REL.

One day he was scrubbing a toilet and realized, “I’m a damned janitor.”

Even stranger, says Clark, “I was happy about it; for the first time in a very long time I had no pressure, nobody telling me what to do or how to do it.”

Clark rapidly received several promotions, working as a deck hand and several other crew positions.

He feels that Conrad was grooming him for his present job.

Clark has passed the U.S. Coast Guard Barge Master exam and is now a Barge Master on the River Explorer.

Clark takes pride in being the only black man in the U.S. to hold a Barge Master’s license.

As for his view of customer service and his current job, Clark proclaims, “Do what you love, love what you do, and it becomes easy to make your customers happy.”

Tom Hudson, a Barge Master, has worked for Conrad for over 16 years, even prior to the founding of REL.

Hudson explains that the Barge Master is responsible for everything except the navigation of the barge.

He serves as host, ensures that all necessary supplies - from barge fuel to toilet tissue - are on board and properly stowed.

He is the official problem solver, confessor, and Public Relations specialist.

“It is my responsibility and my pleasure to ensure the safety, security, and comfort, of everyone on the barge, while I am onboard.”

Lisa Knoy arranges schedules, and co-ordinates onboard entertainment and shore excursions.

She puts her heart and soul into this endeavor.

She is a creative, down home, people loving Texan.

Do you want to stay fit?

Lisa took care of it - she has Hester & Kerry onboard to lead fun exercise sessions.

Want to take a nap in the Pursers lounge?

Lisa will cover you with a light blanket if you appear cold.

Bingo, anyone?

Lisa knows about 30 different ways to play the game and can hustle prizes form the onboard gift shop and other places, quick as a wink.

If you are a night owl you may run into Lisa placing the letters B-A-R-G-E in secret locations for her famous “Find the B-A-R-G-E” game”.

Want to hear a Jug Band? - Western Swing music? - Piano music?

Lisa is likely to have booked that type of entertainment.

Interested in how the Gateway Arch in St Louis, MO was designed and built - Lisa is someone to share that story with you.

Want to visit a restored river town where Abe Lincoln once owned a small grocery store?

Lisa can get you there.

Lisa is everywhere, checking on everything that even remotely contributes to the adventure and entertainment of customers - and she always has her trusty camera to capture the moment.

Popeye, who needs no last name, is the ultimate professional deck hand.

He makes it his business to see that everyone, from the pretty young ladies to the grumpy older people (including me – a 70 year old woman), navigate the gangway and are safely onboard the barge or onshore.

Should Popeye spot a barge-mate from a previous excursion, as we are arriving in a port, he “jumps ship” as soon as he can safely do so and starts back slapping and shaking hands.

He scrubs decks, paints decks, pulls ropes, and whatever is needed; and he does it with a smile, a snappy remark, and a twinkle in his eyes that puts Old Saint Nick to shame.

(Popeye, I expect to see that corn-cob pipe next trip).

Wow, I have written a small book and not even mentioned fellow excursionists Ron and Lois, Arthur and Phyllis, Railroad Ron (Older that Dirt), Dorothy, Carla, The Admiral and a whole lot more wonderful folks that will not be soon forgotten - I sure enjoyed our time together.

REL’s web address is www.riverbarge.com - check it out if you want to learn more about fantastic excursions.